A Father’s Love
I had a last couple of days worth documenting and well, I like to write… My friend, Rhonda invited me to a Philies game… I was dispassionate about going originally but thought it would be good to learn about the game with someone I enjoy hanging out with…
My friend Rhonda is a huge Philadelphia Philies fan and they were playing against the Mets at Citi Field, a Mets ballpark in Flushing, New York on Friday. Baseball has long signified a special connection she had with her father who past away this year and I can relate to that in the way that relentlessly researching my paternal family tree connects me with mine. Even so, baseball is something that I knew very little about and up to this point, I had very little motivation to change that fact. When I met her at her home in North Bergen on Friday afternoon, I was relieved that she had purchased the tickets already on Stub-Hub and so I didn’t have to make any decisions about what constitutes a good seat and value for my money. She found us great seats on the Pepsi Porch with its own concession area… We were set!
Before we left, she showed me an old baseball card collection that she inherited from her father (many cards were from the 1970s) and a display on the wall documenting the Philies team winning the World Series. On the next wall was a magazine cover framed with the very captain of her favorite team, Jimmy Rollins. She explained that she met Rollins and the team’s manager, Charlie Manuel when their bus arrived after their winning of the world series at their undisclosed Hotel in New York. She always has a way of finding things out like that! Being privy to this location, she had no fans to bid for attention against except the excited family of the players. Jimmy Rollins was the first to step off the bus and she ran up to him and handed him a bag of her home-made Pizzeles in a “Hello Kitty” Luxe bag. Rhonda and Jimmy rejoiced in the World Series victory with a bear of a hug. And the satisfying moment of being his first human contact off the field reached a summit when she looked back to see him return with the group with those Pizzeles hanging from his elbow. At this point in her story, she handed me a matching Phillies baseball hat to hers and we headed for the train like a couple of twins…
She explained on the ride over how she just learned that the manager of the Mets lived in her building for years and she never even knew it… a startling fact for someone seemingly so well informed. She shared me how their short stop and closer have been in the news and one of them was arrested for violence against a woman (Santana #57 is one of these people). We pondered about whether or not she had ever met him before… possibly at the elevator or in the lobby when picking up a package? It was merely a moment and then we refocused on the Philies. After many delays and some harsh, but well-intended remarks about the courtesy of not wearing Philadelphia Philies hats on a NYC train, we arrived at Citi Field 20 minutes late. After our pat-down and purse-search, we were handed a Santana #57 beer cooler as if to document to moment.
We found our seats in a rare row of Philies fans amongst a sea of blue Mets hats… whew… it was meant to be. The game is on… Jimmy Rollins trying to steal a base! Rhonda tells me, “He always does that…,” so now I am watching and the son of a gun does it every chance he gets: he walks away from the base, the pitcher gets wise and tries to nail the base before he can get back.. Nope! It doesn’t happen for Jimmy… close calls and every time he is safe and taunts the opposing team to complete aggravation by stalling them and distracting the pitcher from the game. About this time, the entire row discussed how the manager and coach, Charlie Manuel and his southern accent is misunderstood as being a harsh man by fans of opposing teams although his players adore him… Rhonda said, “When I met him, he was so very sweet,” but I took it all in with a nearly resistant ear.
0-1 and the Mets won. It was a short game and I actually wanted more! I couldn’t believe it… Philies lost but the air tasted like a surprise flavor for absolutely everyone because most agree that Pizza is better Broccoli. We headed for the stairwell and Rhonda told me she wanted to see the boys again after the game. So, we went to that same hotel that she visited after the World Series last year with her offering of Pizzeles in a “Hello Kitty” Luxe bag…. After few transfers and we were there after 10 p.m., and in the lobby, surely enough we met with Charlie Manuel… and he remembered Rhonda! Good Lord, I have to admit I questioned the plausibility of her story – only just a bit. Rhonda was right… Charlie was nice, and kind, and humble… and remembered the Pizzelas. He pointed to a deep corner of the hotel covered in curtains and said, Jimmy and some of the boys are in there.
It was bizarre… in the sheik hotel, hidden behind the curtain was a little burger joint about the size of a shoebox with no access to the general public. The walls were covered with graffiti and it even had one of those large old and white plastic table fans mounted on the wall next to the kitchen. It felt like a dive bar that served only burgers and beer filled with a clientele that resembled a Starbucks experience… Gucci shoes, torn clothing, some preps and a granola of personalities.
Jimmy Rollins was at the sweat counter waiting for his number to be called…. and Yes, he remembered Rhonda too! They chatted for 5 minutes and she congratulated him on his marriage and she promised him another bag a Pizzelas to encourage their winning over the next two games while visiting NY. After he left, we met Larry Anderson. He was tall and sparkled like a rock star with his Baseball rings… but, I certainly didn’t know who he was and Rhonda (their biggest fan, I am becoming convinced) didn’t know either. Of course, she tells him about the Pizzeles and invites him to our table. As it turns out, Larry is the sports announcer for the team and insists he will get a tasting of Rhonda’s Pizzeles tomorrow.
We go back to her place and it is getting very late… but, the excitement the day kept us up talking…. and talking. Rhonda decides to make the Pizzeles at 1 AM. It took about an hour, but writing the card probably took 2 hours… we even searched the Bible for phrases of encouragement. It ended up being 3 sentences! At 4:30 AM, she decides to drop off the Pizzeles at the hotel for when they wake up… I am simply too tired and encourage her to go on without me… so I could SLEEP!
The next day, we wake up and she tells me how it was an amazing sunrise and how she dropped them off and purchased her tickets online for the remainder of the weekend. She had an epiphany about Larry Anderson and recalls that he is one of the players in her dad’s baseball card collection from the 1970s. Yes he was… he was a 1970s Philies player that her father watched and owned his card that is now in Rhonda’s hands. As I am getting ready to leave, I see a framed photo of her and her two sisters at one of the World Series Games in a Philies frame. There’s a little sticker on it that says “I love HK” I ask her… “HK” what does that mean? She tells me how “I love HK” is on many Philies T-shirts now to commemorate Harry Kalas. Harry Kalas? Harry was the Philadelphia Philies lead play-by-play announcer. Harry just recently passed away on April 13, 2009.
Wow! Where did you get that sticker? I asked. “From my ‘Hello Kitty’ sticker collection,” she said.
UPDATE:
The Philies won for the remainder of their play at Citi Field… I’d like to think it was those Pizzeles in their bellies!
Mood Drivers: Never Underestimate the Power of the Spoken Word!
In media, Social Intelligence translates to the net inner gains and losses we experience with a given person or in a given conversation, to create the net balance of feelings we maintain about a brand or product. We participate in this interpersonal economy whenever a social interaction results in a transfer of feeling–which is virtually always:
Perhaps, Author Daniel Goleman in “Social Intelligence” has captured this experience:
“We are wired to connect.” Each encounter between people engages their emotions and in turn, steer our emotional economy. Given our socially reactive brains, we must “be wise,” he says, “and be aware of the ways that our moods influence the each life we touch.”
Specifically, in the discussion of Mood Drivers, Daniel Goleman remembers while visiting other regions of the country:
“…being pleasantly surprised by the friendly tones of the taped voice on the telephone that informed, ‘Your call could not be completed as dialed’… gave a small trill of good feeling – due largely to my years of irritating phone company’s computerized voice back home.”
Goleman further explains that the decision to use a less friendly voice in other instances felt like an immediate punishment for misdialing and would ultimately put him in a bad mood.
References: Daniel Goleman, “Social Intelligence”, Bantam Dell, 2006
Temple’s Wisdom
TEMPLE ST. CLAIR CARR, ENTREPRENEUR AND LUXURY JEWELRY DESIGNER
I was honored to interview the extraordinarily talented and successful Temple St. Clair Carr. Her story is one of pure and distinguished achievement. She began her jewelry business by following her inner wisdom to achieve tremendous results.
Born in Norfolk, Virginia, she built a career from her passions for art and travel. Temple’s drive and leadership style began its development during this upbringing. She came from a family who supported her ideas and repeatedly told her that she could achieve any goal she set her mind to. Her family further influenced her with an early appreciation for travel and the arts, including exposing her to the Jeffersonian architecture and Country Gothic styles that accentuated her childhood home. As an early adult, she studied marine biology, but became dissatisfied with its limits on personal expression. Textbook in hand, she found her true inspiration in the streets of Venice and her sensitivities from the depths of Renaissance paintings. Some of Temple’s attraction to the style was explained by her fascination with the classic look of the era, the richness in color, and its timeless quality. She began combining her fascination with treasures of the earth with her lifelong connection to art and travel. Based on this foundation, she began to sketch her jewelry renditions of a “new classic” that incorporated color gemstones and classic designs from a different time period. This would lead to her discovery by a Barney’s scout who would later take her designs to New York City. Soon thereafter, Temple’s designs would attract premium pricing and a celebrity following that would lead to recognition and financial support from corporate giant, Tiffany and Company.
Today, the Temple St. Clair studio is located in Soho, NY, where Temple bases her operations and leads a staff of twelve employees. She describes her leadership style as the cement of her personal and professional styles: “I am the brand,” Temple proclaims. “It is my responsibility to protect the brand, believe in brand and all its values. After all, they [her values] are my own.” While she enjoys building friendships with her employees, Temple maintains that she protects her investment cautiously, maintaining a “keen” self-interest while striving to foster what she describes as an “egoless” workplace. Being involved in every aspect of her business gives her the ability to observe at multiple levels. Perhaps this is why she prefers the title “Creative Director” over “Chief Executive Officer.”
Temple sees herself as a transformational leader and feels that she and her company are constantly evolving: “I try and understand individuals and nurture the team to find a common goal. The corporate world can be emotionless. It is difficult to draw the lines so clearly.” This compassion and nurturing style is not to be confused with a lack of drive or discipline: “My work-style is tough, as I push myself. However, I don’t always take care of myself as I should.” Temple admits, “I expect everyone else to give 110% like I do. Mistakes and mediocrity are difficult for me to tolerate. My leadership style is progressive and improves just as the business improves.”
Temple believes that sharing information is critical, yet describes the process as a delicate balance in order to accommodate hierarchy and respect timelines: “Sharing business plans is useless if those individuals don’t already harness the context where the information germinates.” According to Temple, complex sexist issues exist in many contexts. Male executives can be uncomfortable if they find a woman attractive. Setting boundaries in these situations is complicated, as women are often forced to choose between monetary gains and “losing the connection” with their male counterparts.
Temple truly is her own “brand.” She, like many other successful individuals, has a difficult time separating her personal and professional “selves.” Her advice to potential entrepreneurs includes, “Just have the guts to do it, or you will be someone else’s employee. Well, some people like that. There is so much possibility in this country, and it is especially evident to me after living abroad. Mmmm… Italy!” (Carr, personal communication, January 25, 2006).
UPDATE:
You can read more about Temple St. Clair and her passions in her fantastical book called, “Alchemy”.
Harper Collins describes:
A Southern girl with a nomadic spirit and a voracious appetite for history and culture, Temple St. Clair grew up spending summer vacations in Morocco and Bavaria, studied at an international boarding school in Switzerland, and went night diving in Honduras with the son of Jacques Cousteau. In her early twenties, St. Clair landed in Florence, where she completed a master’s in Italian literature. In fact, she had no exposure to jewelry making until her visiting mother bought an ancient coin and asked St. Clair to commission a local goldsmith to make a piece of jewelry around it.
Armed with the coin and a sketch, St. Clair entered the ancient Palazzo dell’Orafo of Florentine goldsmiths, where she first discovered the centuries-old art of fine Italian jewelry making. Inspired by the distinctive craftsmanship, St. Clair continued to work with artisans to bring her designs to life. A new world soon began to open up to her—a world that engaged her multicultural education, vast experiences, and rich curiosity; a world that awarded her with a new identity as “an amateur anthropologist, a hopeless hunter and gatherer, a bit of a wanderer, and a self-made jewelry historian who loves to dream and draw.”
With an artist’s eye for detail and an unwavering esteem for the historic, St. Clair creates one-of-a-kind pieces that combine ancient influences with traditional craftsmanship and contemporary flair. In Alchemy, she takes readers on an idiosyncratic excursion into the intricate history and craft of jewelry making—from the ancient origins of talismans and charms, to the complicated pursuit of the perfect gemstone—all through the lens of her own fascinating experiences. The result is a mesmerizing and visually stunning book that will appeal to jewelry lovers, artistic dreamers, and anyone who suffers from wanderlust.
Sit Down, Shut Up, and Get a REAL Job!
JANICE ARIANTE, AUTHOR AND BUSINESS ENTREPRENEUR
Janice Ariante is an author and business entrepreneur at Ideal Job Offer, Nutley, N.J. With over 25 years corporate experience in Human Resources for high tech companies and specialization in the Silicon Valley, she has been an independent staffing consultant for over 12 years. Her primary enjoyment is mentoring aspiring business leaders and teaching. This passion has recently inspired her to condense her years of experience into a three-hundred page book and DVD for infomercial distribution. The DVD Project, entitled Sit Down, Shut Up, and Get a REAL Job! is her chosen venue in which she applies her knowledge to help individuals succeed in the not-always-fair business arena.
As an entrepreneur, she describes her leadership style as casual, informal, and hands-off. Ariante feels that people like working for her and attributes this to her management style, firmly believing that if she hires qualified individuals who can work independently, there is no need to be a micro-manager—that is, as long as everyone is doing their job and quotas are met.
Her extremely “Objective” and unstructured work style empowers people from within. “I have been told,” says Ariante, “that ‘Women Listen and Men Preach.’ I look at what their strengths are and recognize that people do best at what they like.” This means she might modify a position in ways that leverage the strengths of employees. For instance, she might take away the frequency of report-making from an individual that is keen at building relationships and meeting sales goals, yet give that duty to someone who enjoys recording the information. By building on employees’ strengths, leaders nurture individuals as they are which supports a healthy self esteem:
“Occasionally, this might mean losing someone valuable in order to help them achieve their career objectives,” Ariante explains. “You are either objective or subjective and there is no right or wrong or better. Objective personalities get their energy from interaction with other people, while subjective personalities get energy from inanimate objects. Subjective individuals often make better engineers and mechanics. This does not mean they are judgmental because they are not objective. The labeling often limits the understanding of their style. We do need both. I believe that the best managers are objective individuals that can handle certain things in a subjective manner. For that reason, Objectives also make the best entrepreneurs.”
The notion of Objective versus Subjective personalities is not a new concept, yet it is not well known. The Johnson O’Connor Research Institute, a non-profit organization has been testing inborn skill sets for quite some time. The objective of their two-day ($600.00) testing is to determine the best suited occupations for individuals. By identifying what is uniquely special about an individual, one can better gauge her potential risk or success as an entrepreneurial individual versus other occupational pursuits. “Star performers are in jobs that are suited for them!” Ariante explains.
“My leadership style is non-authoritive, and it allows others to come to their own conclusions. This does not mean, however, that I am afraid to draw the line, ultimately. If I’m not sure, I’ll get a book. How many men do you know, who would be willing to stop for directions…and more than once?” Women might be more likely to go out and seek the information they need. Interestingly, according to Ariante, some male CEOs have more of a feminine style and utilize pop-corning, brainstorming, or simply think creatively! Ultimately, people want to feel needed and listened to. Ariante reports that men are more likely to “preach” and use phases like, “This conversation is over.” Ariante continues, “My leadership style comes naturally to me because I am objective and connected to people.”
Only seven women run fortune 500 companies today. However, it is possible that this inequality is attributable to the fact that fewer women feel compelled to succeed in a male-dominated culture, opting instead to create their own by becoming entrepreneurs. This discrepancy is the subject of one of Ariante’s areas of research, focusing on the difference between confidence in one’s skills and self-esteem in the workplace.
There is an extremely high correlation between confidence and entrepreneurial success, yet many industry leaders, ironically, hit rock-bottom in self-esteem. The two concepts are, according to Ariante, very different. Confidence is so essential, yet without self-esteem, one might resonate the personality of a Woody Allen or Liz Taylor, outwardly successful, yet inwardly flawed. Sometimes, financial success will be granted if you have confidence or maintain the right job or personal health. This does not necessarily mean that you are connected to people. Self-esteem comes into play within all relationships. Low self-esteem may lead to alcohol or drug addiction. Sadly, Ariante states that women have more self-esteem issues than men do. In Ariante’s research, she has discovered a widespread tendency of women to deny themselves happiness and fulfillment in exchange for approval. To prove this point to me, Ariante asked, “How many men do you know that would date women in prison or wait for a married woman to leave her husband for him?” She continues:
“People are attracted to people who are most like themselves. What I want to do is help other people and if you do what you love, you’ll be good, the money will follow. When people are in the wrong jobs, it impacts everyone around them. ’Take this job and shove it, or take this job and love it’. When you love what you do, you never have to work a day in your life!”
Ariante’s research also focuses on the different communication styles across gender boundaries. For instance, when women talk, they use more words than men. While men are usually visually dominant, women tend to be more tactile. When men and women communicate, they should, at the very least, understand the basic parameters of male and female communication styles. For instance, metaphors of sense (sight, hearing) should be aligned when communicating (if a man states, “Do you see?” then it would be counterproductive to reply with, “I felt that too” and expect to connect with the problem.) By recognizing the dominant communication style whether it is visual, auditory, or tactile, one might minimize the language gap.
Dr. Ethne Swartz, Rothman Institute of Entrepreneurial Studies
FAIRLEIGH DICKINSON UNIVERSITY
One of the first women I interviewed for this study was Dr. Ethne Swartz. She is a woman dedicated to the positive development of female entrepreneurs as part of her work at the Rothman Institute at the Madison Campus. Dr. Swartz suggested that there are several covert problems that still exist for women entrepreneurs: “Women are still outsiders,” she says. “For instance, doing business with corporations continues to be a problem because the key decision makers often are not women” (E. Swartz, November 15, 2005, personal communications).
Fortunately, the United States has become an international role model for female leaders within corporations such as Xerox, Avon, Liz Claiborne, IBM and Merrill Lynch, paving the path for future female business role models. For example, at Xerox, women hold nearly one-third of top management roles as part of a corporate attitude that began to take shape 40 years ago. However, even in a company culture like this one, there is still a need for women to have more profit-and-loss responsibility and to be among the top earners (McGinn, October 24, 2005, pp. 68-69). Often, the corporate world makes it difficult to manage a family however, academic institutions are not much better. Childcare often becomes a source of guilt when time and attention are divided by work because men have not been socialized to take on this burden in the same manner.
According to Swartz, women often find their energy depleted by low self-esteem, which is at the root of self-sabotage. Investment in psychological and social capital (terms that refer to clarity with respect to one’s goals, the creation of a “place of security,” routines which reinforce wellness, and networks of diverse colleagues) is Swartz’s recommended defense against these workplace maladies.
Fortunately, companies like Xerox and Merrill Lynch have chosen to create atmospheres that support women and their conflicting roles at home and at work by providing flexible hours and childcare so that they may achieve higher-rank positions in a more fairly designed corporate culture (E. Swartz, personal communication, November 15, 2005).
McGinn, D (2005, October 24). In good company. Newsweek, Leadership for the 21t Century, 68-69.
Covert Problems Facing Women Leaders and their Success
I began a research project four years ago to find the more successful and feminine women in business. The scope of this research project comprises some of the covert problems that face entrepreneurial women and explores the challenge to succeed despite these obstacles. My interest in this topic is rooted in my own experience, both satisfying and frustrating, as a woman striving with aspirations to become a respected business leader. Covert problems are powerful yet subtle, as they may startle, distress, and disappoint. Many such problems are unanticipated, overlooked, or disguised within the institutional structure of an organization. For this reason, my interest is ever-growing in exploring determined women who emerge by succeeding despite these barriers. When covert problems are identified and labeled, awareness in an organization grows and its members become polarized, allowing for a possible solution. This research project provides a summary with anecdotal insights that identify the covert problems and reveal the attributes and methods that are at the core of effective female entrepreneurship.
Numerous articles and books provide the theoretical foundation for the project, in addition to personal interviews with a diverse group of female entrepreneurs, which form the basis for interpretation. The interview subjects include an entrepreneurial studies educator and several female entrepreneurs from domestic and international organizations. Personal observation has been included as a reflection of my unique experiences as a woman in business. A global perspective is increasingly important as globalization continues to shape the way business is conducted. Perhaps some of the most significant lessons are to be learned from women who expose themselves to the global public on a regular basis. Women like Martha Stewart and Oprah Winfrey are not only some of the most successful living female entrepreneurs; they are also global female entrepreneurs with an international social network and solid community.
Over the next several weeks, I will share trials and solutions from successful Entrepreneurial women and back up these solutions with field and textbook research. I hope that you will find this information valuable. Please share your own stories and comments here.
Exercise in your Skirt
Yes, you read that right. I recently read this blog by Victoria Arya and wanted to share her insight here. I may not be a mommy blogger but I thought here was some true wisdom. Why can’t we enjoy the freedom of exercising in our skirts? Here is a real gem of an idea to be free, girly and need I mention beautiful? So I tried this today and the novelty of it made exercising so much more fun as I felt compelled to dance in front of the mirror and admire my curves that would otherwise look less flattering. It was a feel-good time. Check out her article on momdot.com here… and let me know what you think.
I’ll be looking for your feedback.
What is LifeArt?
What is LifeArt?
LifeArt is luxury living through the conscious production and arrangement of color, flavor, space, texture, sound, aroma and movement.
Individual & Social Divinity.
There is something sacred in
the individual process of discovering ideas, people and places in this manner.
Celebratory.
It enjoys an appreciation for the arts, nature, food, body, technology, society, and of course family and friends.
Luxury.
Living the completely great life when art and life are one.
My Philosophy
My art is to create experiences that resonate around history, places, events and time through words and the production and arrangement of color, flavor, space, texture, sound, aroma and movement.
I believe value is achieved through an authentic exchange that connects and enriches lives.
An old indian proverb says:
“Tell me the facts and I will learn. Tell me the truth and I will believe. But tell me a story, and it will live in my heart forever.”
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